Thursday, June 14, 2007

Filthy Friends & A Redneck

I am "house sitting" while my friends are on a one week honeymoon. They however did not attempt to pick up their house prior to leaving (please do not pull the they had a lot to do so give them a break). So since Sunday I have been cleaning. I'm not a neat freak but this place is not livable. It's gross. So as my wedding present to them they get to return to a clean house. Sounds easy right?
Well I wish I would have documented this event with my camera. The place was gross. Picture dishes in sink (no dishwasher), laundry room covered in dirty clothes (if there was a floor I didn't see it), clothes strung all over the house, they hadn't swept in probably a year, paper bags all over (not sure why). So I began my cleaning adventure on Monday. I did a couple of loads of laundry & cleaned up the living room (which included sweeping and dusting). The next day I did another load of laundry (at this point we were doing loads by colors such as yellow, blue, & red). I then recruited my roommate by telling her it could be a gift from us. She did two more loads of laundry and cleaned the laundry room while I worked on the kitchen & bathroom. That took us two hours.
The following day I switched over the laundry again. And my roommate and I recruited my boyfriend. I was in charge of folding the mounds of laundry, boyfriend swept the floors and my roommate organized. We then decided to tackle the master bedroom. Which had at least 25 condom wrappers, 1 can of tomato soup, dust bunnies the size of a softball, & of course more clothes!We're almost through with the clothes; we're actually down to just one more load of laundry. Our only problem is trying to find a place for all these clothes! They better appreciate this! Wouldn't you love to come home to a nice clean house?? This is not a picture of their room this is a picture I found on the internet at a site that said spiders love dirty rooms. Gross!!
***I'm going to completely change subjects***
Got of a phone call (shush I'm at work) and this guy wanted to know about massage therapy. Conversation goes like this:
Me: Admission's this is Blaze
Him: Blade?
Me: No, Blaze with a Z like fire.
Him: Well ain't that a pretty name. How'd you get that name?
Me: It's a Saint's name. There is a Saint Blaze and I'm named after him.
Him: Oh really? I love that name. Here's the thing I want to go into massage therapy and a therapist.
Talk talk talk
Me: What is it that you're currently doing?
Him: currently I'm sitting on the couch
Me: Ok are you working or going to school?
Him: No no nothing nothing I'm sorry when Clary gets a hold of me they're going to be dealing with a whole new breed of redneck.
Me: Ok...
Him: Yeah I'm a country boy and I'm leaving my horse behind. So that's going to be kinda different, I told 'em that when I want to pursue this massage therapy.
Talk talk talk
Me: Are you leaving in Muskogee right now?
Him: No ma'am I'm leaving in Hulbert, OK.
Me: Are you planning to move to Tulsa?
Him: Nope, I guess it sucks.
Me: Are you willing to make the drive?
Him: I'm guess I'm willing
talk talk talk (Not the actualy redneck but heck close enough right?)
Him: I just love the name Blaze
please stop talking about my name
Me: Thanks
Him: I'm sitting here watching a movie named Blade, yeah that's what threw me off. I was like Blade oh like Blaze with a Z.
talk talk talk
Him: Are you single?
Me: Am I single?! No, I'm not.
Him: 'Cause I got a friend for you, the thing is he is a little taller than the average person. He's from Argentina.
What the hell is going on here?
Me: Really?
Him: He's a little bit over 7 foot.
Me: Yep that's a definitely taller than the average person.
Him: He's only one of the tallest men in the world.
talk talk talk about his tall friend
Him: How easy it would be to kill a person. He would be the last person you would think you would have to fear. He is what we call the Gentle Giant.
Me: How funny.
Him: Hopefully one of these days when I go into Clary, and I ever get to meet you. He'll be with me and you'll laugh at me because I'm hanging with. Actually you'll laugh at him because he's hanging out with someone as short as me. I'm only 5'4".
Me: yeah
Him: Can I ask you a question?
Me: Ok?
Him: Can we be friends?
Me: You've never met me.
Him: I know. How do I know you aren't some crazy stalker?
Because I'm not asking you to be my friend!
Me: I'm not.
Him: Well are you ready?
Me: For what?
Him: rattles off number
Me: What's this
Him: My texting number
Does he mean pager?
Me: uh huh
Him: I hope I’ll hear from you soon.
What the hell just happened here?

1 comment:

sexy beast said...

hey big boy like your power gun wish it was between my legs come talk to me talk sexy dirty luv it, tell me what you would do to me big boy,