I had an interesting conversation last night. A co-worker and I started having a heated discussion about why people get married. I have learned from this discussion that this should be one of those topics people stay away from at parties, like politics and religion.
I don't remember how the conversation got started. What I do remember is her saying "Why get married when 50% get divorced and the other 50% are unhappy." This is about the time where I blew a gasket because I felt my relationship was being scrutinized. Had we both been sober, I think we could've had a calm conversation.
So, I'm going to give my reasons for why I think people get married.
1. Her argument was that 50% of marriages end in divorce, so why get married with a high failure rate.
I can't find actual data on this statistic, but I know this number is generally accepted among the public. I'm going to accept this number for simplicity reasons. I'm also going to assume that even though we do not have to register for every romantic relationship we have, more non-martial relationships end versus marriages ending in divorce. So if we're going to go with her argument of why get married if you have a 50% chance of getting divorce, why enter a relationship if you have a higher chance of it ending?
2. I want to wake up every day and have a choice with whom I’m with.
Let’s go back to the 50% of marriages ending in divorce. Doesn’t that mean that the other 50% are choosing to stay married? It’s still a choice regardless of the legal document or not. I know there out there who feel trapped in a relationship, married or not. Every day is a choice when you’re a relationship and both parties choose to stay together. That’s what makes a relationship.
3. I asked her why wouldn’t you get married? She responded why would I?
Because marriage is a ceremony where you stand up in front God, family and friends and make a verbal commitment to your partner. You become accountable for your relationship and the actions you take towards your partner. By making public vows, you’re saying you will respect and work with your partner. This is a public way of saying you're in a long-term committed relationship. If this is what you're seeking from your partner why wouldn't you get married?